Is that a banana in your pocket?

Perhaps the most amazing part of being human is that we are able to learn so many new things every day. My mind is constantly being led this way and that, with surprises around every corner and endless information to absorb. I regret to say I forget a large portion of it; however, I doubt I'll soon forget one of today's new tidbits. Cut to... banana slugs!!!

Not only are these bad boys (and girls) hermaphrodites: they all have penises that can rival their bodies in size! And did I mention their average body size is 6-8 inches? Impressive even by human standards! But wait, I think I've jumped the gun. I have science to back me up right now. While there is an ongoing debate as to the existence of more than one species of banana slug, the proposed second species bears the name A. dolichyphallus , which, when translated, means "giant penis". How's that for a classification?

But it only gets better. Although their hermaphroditic sexuality allows them to self-fertilize - for evolutionary purposes that will soon become clear - banana slugs prefer to engage in paired reproduction. Owing to their huge "endowments" the two slugs must first check each other out, circling one another for an extended period of time to ensure that their giant penises will fit each others genital openings. Once satisfied with their compatibility they take turns penetrating each other.

Now here's the zinger. Banana slug couples often become stuck to one another during intercourse. And, being that they're slugs and have little in the way of appendages with which to attempt separation, the slug being penetrated bites off the other slug's penis.

Scientists purport that these slugs have maintained their hermaphroditic capabilities to accommodate the fact that so many hand over their penises with their virginity. Others say this bobbitization is meant to evolutionarily favor smaller penises. Either way, this is by far the most bizarre mating ritual I've ever come across.

So guys, next time your girlfriend is giving you trouble, be glad, at the very least, that she won't later have to bite off your dick.



This picture is dedicated to my boyfriend. Not only is he probably the sole reader of this blog, but I also think this is what he'd look like as a banana slug, 'stache and all.