some thoughts i had my first week here...when i spent A LOT of time alone...
When you read a book, or a short story, or an article or a quote, are you changed?
When you learn a new fact can you ever be the same?
Or does that new thing penetrate your entire being, devouring the self you once were and creating the self you now are. Sensory experience…it has a way of stirring change. If I see a photo that moves me, or a photo that does nothing to me at all, is there a difference?
Both have some effect on my being, both shape who I am.
One reinforces what I like. The other reinforces what I don’t like. Or what I’m indifferent about.
So how do I know my self? My being?
Are there patterns of the self that one may know? Tendencies?
If I hate bananas and go through half my life with this hatred entrenched in my being but one day I taste it prepared in a way that I like, is there a ripple effect? Does that shake my every dislike? Must I reconsider all the things I’d believed I hated?
Is it enough to know oneself at a moment in time and not know oneself the next? But then discover ones new self a moment after that moment of uncertainty?
I have spent a number of full days alone and yet I feel no closer to myself than I did before…except that I am more aware of how little I know. Does this mean I know more?
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